How I knew the love of my life long before we ever met
There are many inspirations for the stories I write. Some come from work and life experiences. One in particular was inspired by something that began many years ago. Back when I first learned about relationships and caught a glimpse of the love of my life.
My earliest memories are like peering into a surreal dream. I remember a field of white with stars glistening before my eyes. I recall being in a booster seat in the back of the family car, looking at trees moving by and trying to see the birds that must live in each one. I remember finding a deflated football among the tall grass one day and wondering how it could be restored. I remember sitting in the living room floor with a coloring book and crayons, eager to use every color and fill every page.
One day, a black and white show came on with a beautiful woman kissing a man. Until that moment, I believed cartoons were the only shows on television. Seeing real people was like looking into another world. As the show continued, I saw different people come and go. Sometimes smiling, sometimes dancing and from time to time, sharing a kiss. I didn’t know what to make of this and couldn’t express my curiosity. I wondered what was so dramatic about the scene and the looks people shared who kissed in that way.
I was deep in thought, trying to solve this new riddle when I saw myself as a grown-up and saw a woman I held in my arms. She looked at me with a similar expression and I knew she was someone who meant more to me than anyone else. A moment later, the vision faded and I was back to seeing the show. I had no idea what was typical at this point. Having just learned that television contained more than cartoons, this unique experience merely gave me more to ponder.
A few years later, I saw another movie with a couple gazing at each other and asked my mother about it. I couldn’t express my confusion in their expressions. I asked something like “Why are they kissing?” “They’re in love.” Was the answer I received. I looked back, trying to understand the looks exchanged and failing to grasp the answer. Love to me was affection shared by family. The answer made no sense to me. I pondered the notion of love being different than what I knew and the world faded away. I saw the woman again and couldn’t help but smile when she smiled at me. I still didn’t understand love or what it meant but somehow, I knew that whoever this woman was, she loved me. As the world returned to normal, I decided to add the meaning of love to the many other riddles I knew I had to solve as I grew older.
When I started school and learned about reading, writing and math, I realized many questions I had could be answered in books. By the time I was in High School, I read most of the classics and was deep into fantasy, horror and poetry. Edgar Allen Poe struck a cord with me as I memorized The Raven for class. The poem of love and loss would stay with me long after I closed the book. I saw the woman many times throughout those years and after reading a few books on psychology, decided she was part of my imagination, longing for a love that I thought was out of reach.
By the time I finished high school and joined the military, I had several other glimpses. The woman was always on my mind despite the rationalizing I made. I decided if she was a dream, she was my dream, and I cherished her smile, her eyes and her love. When I started College, I wanted to learn all I could about the world so I could graduate and find my path in life. This meant taking all the classes I could and participating in extracurricular activities.
I was in the second semester of college when I happened to walk by a conference room. A club was about to meet and the organizer spotted me and called me over. He asked if I had a few minutes to kill so I could consider joining their club. I agreed, but being naturally reserved, I chose to sit at the far back of the room so as to avoid interactions.
The meeting was about adding members and planning group activities. I had no interest in either so I sat and scribbled in my notepad. At the front of the room was a group of girls chatting and laughing among themselves. Having been the brunt or ridicule for many years, I was grateful to have chosen a seat as far as possible. I barely listened as the meeting went on. When I looked up from my sketch pad a while later, I saw one of the girls look up at me with a familiar smile before turning back to her friends.
Perhaps I stared too long or perhaps the meeting concluded while I gaped in stunned silence at the girl who looked up at me. I didn’t go back to my drawing. I may not have picked up my pencil again. I don’t know what I did other than stare. When the organizer walked me out and handed me a schedule for the club, I took it and walked away, dazed and in shock. Two words kept echoing in my head as her image appeared in my memory. “She’s real!” Meeting the love of my life for the first time resulted in me repeating those two words over and over in my head. Seeing her changed the way I saw the world and changed my life forever. It’s been over thirty years since we met. Thirty years since the woman I saw as a child walked out of my dreams and entered my life.
A few of my books depict dreams, unusual sights and visions. For the most part, they’re created from my imagination and the many inspiring stories I’ve found over the years. However, a few parts of my tales are created from experiences that are not found in the pages of books or seen in movies. These experiences are part of the reason I always seek out stories of science fiction, magic and the supernatural. The greatest mysteries of life are a source of inspiration for creatives around the world. May we all find the inner vision that guides us towards greater hopes, bigger dreams and endless passions.